YOU MIGHTY MAN OF VALOR
The world that we live in has got its own definition of
what it means to be a man. It is true that men are defined more by what they
have than by who they are. Our position in the society and our possessions are
what give us our identity as men. A successful man in the modern day age is
defined by the influence and the affluence that he possesses. Men must be in
charge of the world, they must not shed tears when hurt, and they should not
get in touch with their emotions after all emotions are unnecessary as far as
being a man is concerned. A man is expected to always have it together
regardless of the situation, it doesn’t matter whether the world is burning or
the country is crumbling, it’s your duty as a man to stay calm and emotionless
even as you carry the burden of the world on your shoulders.
From an early age boys are taught not to cry when spanked
by their teachers, we are told that being rough and unkempt is what constitutes
being a real man, we are discouraged by our fathers from bonding with our
mothers just in case we become more kitchen savvy than world savvy. In primary
school, our identity and respect is proven by how many fights we get involved
in and how many of those fights we win. Woe unto you if you lose a fight in
front of hundreds of spectators in the football pitch during break time because
your life in school will be made unbearable by fellow students who will keep on
reminding you of how much of a “girl” you are just because you lost a fight.
We are told that it’s a man’s world and this can be seen
across almost all spheres of life. When you look at the world’s richest
billionaires, the majority are men. The majority of the world’s heads of state
and government are men, the majority of the initiators of the world’s worst
massacres and genocides are men, the world’s most notorious war lords and
guerilla leaders are men, the majority of land grabbers in the society are also
men, we don’t see many women blowing themselves up as terrorists and we haven’t
witnessed many of them participating in the gladiator fights so far. It is
worth noting that even in the so called testosterone sports; the world tends to
celebrate men more than women. By the way, did you know that there’s an English
Premier League for women? Yes, there’s an Arsenal, Manchester United and a
Chelsea team for women. The same reason would be given for these teams lack of
popularity in the world as compared to their male counterparts.
The dominance of men in the various spheres of life is
not because all men are responsible citizens of the society, but it is to some
extent as a result of many men looking for an identity in this competitive
world. The quest for recognition and respect has driven many men to try and acquire
wealth and power through non conventional means in order to rub shoulders with
the high and mighty, after all that’s what’s expected of real men in this
world.
The Bible however has a different definition of what it
means to be a dominant, successful, established man. Such a man is known as the
mighty man of valor.
The
question therefore begs, what then constitutes the identity of a mighty man of
valor?
·
Recognize that you are not always in
charge
One of the greatest myths about
being a man is the lie that you are always in charge. The feeling of having to
be in charge and in control of situations has driven many men into fighting
unnecessary battles that they are not meant to be fighting in the first place.
It is good to recognize the place of God in our lives because whether we like
it or not there we will come across situations that will be beyond our control.
When God had handed over Israel into the hands of the Midianites because of
their disobedience, there was little that Gideon as a person could do as a
person. We therefore see Gideon threshing wheat at the bottom of the winepress
because he was afraid of the midianites. The situation was clearly in God’s
hands for He’s the one who had allowed the Israelites to be oppressed by the
Midianites in the first place. This then calls for all men to recognize that
there’s a place for God in our lives and that we will not always be in control
of situations. Knowing this will save us the pain of fighting battles that are
not ours just because we want to prove a point. Recognize that it is okay to be
afraid, it is okay to hide when necessary and it is okay to humble yourself before
God and follow his guidance.
·
Draw your strength from God
“Boys are not made up of metal”
These are the words of one of my friends way back in Primary school. He was
reacting to a situation whereby we were being told that real boys don’t cry
when in pain. The reality of the matter is that from time to time we will grow
weary and tired because of the storms and the complications of life. The big
question therefore is where do you draw your strength from? Many men have taken
to draw their strength from very temporary sources. Some people want to feel
powerful by dominating and being violent against their wives, some hit the gym
not because they want to keep fit but because they want to feel powerful, some
embrace some sexist and chauvinistic ideas in order to feel dominant, some will
resort to airing their opinions anyhow, anywhere and everywhere so that they
can be heard. In my humble opinion any man who spends his time and effort
calling a breakfast show in a local fm station in order to bash women is dealing
with serious insecurities mainly because he’s looking for affirmation and
strength in the wrong place.
As men, we need to draw our strength
from God just as Gideon did. The strength of the lord is what will enable us
conquer what we were unable to conquer before. This is the strength that will
help us do what we thought was impossible and to believe in the unbelievable.
It is this strength that helped Gideon save the Israelites even after arguing
with God about his own personal fears, doubts and insecurities.
·
Deal conclusively with the past
All of us have a history that might
be significant to our lives today. Our past beliefs, family life, associations
and relationships are instrumental in shaping our today. What you are today is
basically a sum total of your past beliefs, decisions, associations and
relationships. Likewise our value system today is what will determine the
quality and value of our future lives. Gideon was instructed by God to pull
down the altars of his father to Baal. He was further instructed by God to put
up a new altar to God. Gideon obeyed God and did as instructed. But then Gideon
was still afraid of the consequences of his actions and so he had to do this at
night. Fearful or not, Gideon had to get it done. When a man decides to be
transformed of God in order to live a valuable life, there are some things from
his past that have to be dealt with practically and conclusively. If this means
deleting some numbers off your phone book, deleting your facebook account,
burning your pornographic material or even moving houses in order to be
transformed then do it. It is good to know that there’s a heavy price to pay
for your transformation. You might be isolated by friends and family and as a
result you should be prepared to take a long and lonely journey to
transformation all by yourself.
Dealing with the past is just half
of the equation; the other half involves setting up new value systems for you
as a man. The new value systems need to be stronger and more solid than your
past value system and as such hard work and radical warfare is needed. So put
on the full armor of God, get in the ring and knock the devil off. It is not
easy but it is definitely worth it.
·
Look for confidantes &
associates, not fans
There are many men today who pride
themselves in having many fans. The more fans one has the more valuable they
are perceived to be. However what every mighty man of valor needs is a small
group of confidantes and valuable associates who will help him win the war.
Your fans on the other hand will cheer you on when you are doing well but when
it comes down to the basics, where the rubber meets the road, they will leave
you on your own and cross over to support someone else who is doing better than
you.
A time comes in your life when you
have to tell people “whoever is timid or afraid should leave and go home” and
watch as all the cowards scatter. Ask God to sort out who will go with you and
who will not. This will enable you have by your side only valuable warriors who
will help you win the war. You don’t need the whole world in order to win for
it’s not about the quantity of warriors but the quality of the warriors that
you have. There are many people who will come into your life and leave when
there’s a call to war, don’t stop them from leaving because they are not tied
to this part of your journey to your destiny. From the days of old till now,
nothing big was ever accomplished through many people; it always started with
one man and spilled over to a few like-minded people with the same mission.
Therefore look at the quality of
your associations and relationships and be careful who you allow into your
inner circle.
In conclusion, being a real man is
not made up of the conventional attributes as defined to us by the world. It is
instead made up of the attributes as defined by God himself. As a man you need
to take time and ask God to bless you and make you the man that he intends for
you to be, A MIGHTY MAN OF VALOR.
By: Washington Mwangi
