HIS Story-Part 2. You Mighty man of valour

Just what constitutes a mighty man of valour?.........

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Plan Your Wedding as you Prepare For Marriage

Coming your way This September.....

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Proverbs 31 woman – Lead within your role

  

Somehow, in the fabric of time and culture, there has grown a misconception on the role of a woman’s submission to a man’s leadership in terms of having a successful relationship or marriage. I don’t know about you, but this word…submit….genuinely makes me cringe and makes me all the more want to do just the opposite. Shocked that a married Christian woman would actually make such a confession? Come on! Take your mask off for a second and let’s have a real discussion here. Women have always battled with the issue of submission. In my parent’s generation, they battled it more silently. Our generation is a bit more outspoken about long held cultural and spiritual practices. We ask why, and if you do not give a really good reason, we walk away. 

I think that our problem lies in the very definition of a woman’s role in submission. To submit under leadership does not mean that you are no longer able to lead. Consider this question carefully: Who has more say in a situation; the person who makes the decisions or the person who influences the decisions being made? Ladies, here is the secret, our place in the home is one of influence. If you do not influence his decisions, another woman will, top on the list is mother dearest. Even men who are unfaithful because they are tired of their wives then take their lives and decisions to be influenced by their mistresses. Ladies, influence is your area of leadership in relationships. In essence, when you submit, you are leading while being led. I think that is what God had in mind, otherwise, he would not have put his definition of exemplary feminine qualities found in the bible in Proverbs 31. That woman was a leader in her home! When we allow God to make us into the kind of leaders he planned for us to be in our homes, then, we will not have such a hard time allowing our husbands to lead us, and our husbands will in turn agree to be led by us by allowing us to influence their decisions, thinking and lives.

It is clear that the Proverbs 31 woman’s husband allowed her to flourish in all her activities. He did not hinder her, he did not undermine her. He did not confine her to the kitchen and to popping babies. He recognized the gifts in her and allowed her to pursue her visions and dreams. The Proverbs 31 woman was wise enough to marry the proverbs 31 man. Look ladies, do not marry anyone who will not nurture and respect you. That is the only way this will work.  A Proverbs 31 woman attracts a proverbs 31 man. So work on being a proverbs 31 woman and watch all the flaky, fake, abusive, chauvinistic men cower away from you. So, who exactly is a Proverbs 31 woman?

·   She is a rare breed and she knows it!

The New Living Translation says that she is so rare, she is worth more than rubies. When was the last time you thought yourself worth more than rubies? A large part of how people treat us has to do with our self esteem. Do you want your husband/ Spouse to respect you enough to consult you in all matters in the home? Then respect yourself and think highly of yourself. You are beautiful, you are wise, you are resourceful, you are a treasure and he is blessed to have you in his life. Do not marry or even date anyone who does not feel this way about you. A man will not allow you to influence him unless he respects and values you.

·   She adds value to her husband’s life and to other’s lives

She does this by believing in him and helping him achieve his dreams and vision. She is his number one fan. When he fails, she encourages him to try again. She is the soft but firm voice that keeps him focused when he runs out of energy. She is compassionate, she is graceful. She comforts him, she fights the battles of life with him, she stands with him for better or worse. She nurses him when he is sick and she celebrates with him when he succeeds. She builds him up always, she never undermines him. She trusts him. Hubby dearest is the first on line to receive her ministry. She nurtures her children. She treats her employees well. She gives to the poor. This is the potential in you ladies, how I wish you knew how strong God created you to be, you are the foundation of your home and of your society. Can all the ladies say it loud: INFLUENCE! This is it right here, this is how you lead and how powerful you are woman, how great! Marry someone who will appreciate this gift in you and benefit from it. Don’t let anyone take this gift for granted.

·        She is resourceful and creates wealth

The Proverbs 31 woman is an impressive business lady. She buys land and has enough capital to plant a vineyard...all from her savings! Woman, you need to build your visions and dreams. God created each of us with a purpose, gifts and talents. Do not stay idle in your home just because hubby dearest has a lot of money. Sharpen your skills, further your education, learn how to manage finances, run a business, paint art and sell it. Do something! Let’s face it, it is difficult for anyone to take you for granted if you have some money! Be in a position to give Hubby financial advice, no one’s perfect and you need to work as a team because this gives you a better chance to make the best decisions. Do not marry someone who is intimidated by your ability to create wealth. Do not marry someone who feels better when you do not work so that he can be in full control of finances. Do not marry someone who thinks your professional life and your personal dreams end when you get married.  

·        She knows her role

She cares for her home, delegates to her servants and still has time to make breakfast for her family with all she has to do. Her home is her priority, and she is highly organized because she still has time to do so many other things. The proverbs 31 woman allows her husband to lead. I believe she is able to do this because she is wise enough to marry a man who allows her to be the great woman that she is. Because she is such a great woman, her husband respects her, nurtures her and his leadership in the home is influenced by her. She leads within her role.

In conclusion, submission is not weakness. It is the plan of God for women to be in a position of influence in their homes and in society. God’s ways are higher than our ways, His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. We need to trust that His way does work. We just need to understand how to apply the principle of submission practically in this day and age. Submission only works effectively when the person to whom you are submitting to loves you equally to the level of your submission. In the right environment, you will lead and influence because you have submitted.

By Christine Muna Mwangi.